dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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