my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
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