We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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