he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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