this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
