Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
