well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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