Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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