i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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