you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
