Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
