You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize