We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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