i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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