oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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