bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
We need a shit load of segways right now
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
