I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize