I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
