Christians are straight up FREAKS
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Farmville is her only friend.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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