Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
