i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
