My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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