Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
