so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
