if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize