Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
