Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
