No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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