Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I just found a bag of teeth...
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Holy sore nipples Batman
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
