Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
