just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
