People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
