He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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