11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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