Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just blew my weed a kiss
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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