6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Randomize
