By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
