he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
