Betty ford says i'm here all night
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
