you turned your livingroom into a bong?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
