to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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