I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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