Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
