I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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