it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I want a musical about memes.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
