Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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