Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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