I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
