Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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