My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
