Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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