I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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