Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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