His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
