Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
