p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
