btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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