Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
