I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
