You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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