And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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